{"id":868,"date":"2012-01-21T23:07:53","date_gmt":"2012-01-21T23:07:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/?page_id=868"},"modified":"2012-02-06T00:22:27","modified_gmt":"2012-02-06T00:22:27","slug":"lawrence-aronovitch","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/writings\/drama\/lawrence-aronovitch\/","title":{"rendered":"Lawrence Aronovitch"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cEx Cathedra\u201d<\/strong> (An excerpt)<\/h1>\n

Characters:<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong>:\u00a0 middle-aged. Female.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong>: middle-aged.<\/p>\n

The near future. In a police state, a Commander of the security forces has invited a nun to her office for a conversation. THE COMMANDER<\/strong> reveals that she is a former lover from their university days and the conversation turns to their shared past.<\/em><\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You wanted children.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

My personal wants and needs \u2013 especially those of a historical nature \u2013 really have no bearing on this conversation.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

And you couldn\u2019t have them.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

So if there\u2019s nothing further to discuss…<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

But I could.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I think I\u2019ll be taking my leave after all.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

So I tried.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you for a most instructive meeting.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I did it for you.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wish you luck in your career.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You wanted children.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

And you lost the baby. (A pause.) God damn you.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

So that\u2019s it, then.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I think I should like something to drink after all, please.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Barley tea? Or something stronger?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Definitely stronger.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Frances, I am so sorry – truly, more honestly than I can say – for the pain I\u2019ve caused you.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you. For that.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

What would you like?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, I wanted a child. It was in my nature to.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t part of the bargain.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

So what? Circumstances change.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Evidently so.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

But you didn\u2019t want one.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh, Frances. I wanted to want one.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s not enough, is it, though.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I got pregnant for you.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

And then you lost the baby.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lost the baby. Lost the baby. You make it sound like I misplaced it behind the sofa.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Have I got it wrong, then?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Damn you, Frances. I didn\u2019t lose the baby. I killed it. God. (A pause.<\/em>)<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

So you did.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

And then you withdrew.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

An innocent soul, not yet born. I withdrew, you say. Can you blame me?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You and Voltaire and Leibniz and joy and happiness and frolic. A grey world we live in, you said. It was a world going from grey to black, Frances, remember? Two women living together? Suspicious. A baby? Seditious. They would never have let us keep it. You know that, don\u2019t you? And they would never have let us live, if they found out. You surely know that.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know that I stumbled until my Lord picked me up.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

How convenient for you. I did what I did so we could be together. Alive. It was a terrible choice to make. How do you think it felt?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

A choice. A choice. You always were for choice, weren\u2019t you, Commander.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

No one ever said it would be an easy choice. But in the end it was no choice at all. The child was dead before it was ever born.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

So it was.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was a sacrifice. If I\u2019d given birth to it they\u2019d have killed it. And us. Would that have been better for you, Frances?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

It? You think of our child as an object? I think you found your calling after all, Commander.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you know what that feels like, to make that sacrifice?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t. I can\u2019t. I couldn\u2019t. I\u2019m the one that wanted that child!<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I did it all for you. For us.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

For us? You killed the child for us? Why get pregnant in the first place then?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was what you wanted. I wanted to make you happy. But…<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

But?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Times change, Sister.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s it? Times change? You justify yourself with that?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I failed. And you withdrew.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I withdrew. You killed an innocent soul and you say I<\/span> withdrew.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t want me to stay. So I left.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you loved me you\u2019d have stayed.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

For better or for worse, in sickness and in health?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Something like that.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You were pushing me away. You didn\u2019t want me to stay.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You pulled yourself away. You didn\u2019t want<\/span> to stay.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You were already gone.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

And you wonder why I don\u2019t trust you?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I see. So all this is to explain a lack of trust.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the name of all that\u2019s holy, Commander, why would you even think to mention the baby now? Do you think you can win my trust today by reminding me of yesterday\u2019s betrayals?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am reminding you of my failings. Reminding you that I am a human being. Imperfect.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fallen?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe. I have failings. And feelings. And you did love me once. And you trusted me once.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

What an interesting tactic, Commander. “Trust me because once I broke your trust.” Your superiors must be so impressed with your approach to your job.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t a tactic<\/span>, Frances.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

No?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You wanted a baby, I got pregnant. I tried to keep us together and paid a terrible price. You pushed me away. I took you at your word and left. And now you<\/span> don\u2019t trust me<\/span>.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I would have had faith in God. Like Abraham, called upon to sacrifice Isaac. It was a test. And you failed it. Well. In the end I\u2019ve found another to trust.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s all very neat. Very neat indeed. All tied up with bright red ribbon.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t neat at all.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh, I think it is, this curious path from motherhood to sisterhood.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wish you wouldn\u2019t treat my life as fodder for your word play. It\u2019s not very kind.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I apologize. Kindness isn\u2019t really in my job description.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Was it ever?<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now who\u2019s being cruel?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

You will never have the right to call me cruel.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was kind to you every day we were together. Every day. And I swear, I thought it was a kindness to leave if that\u2019s what you wanted me to do. In case you\u2019ve forgotten, I did love you.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Love me, leave me. That was kind. Kill a baby. Very kind indeed. Frankly, the world should be grateful you\u2019ve lost this capacity of yours for kindness.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sarcasm doesn\u2019t become you, Sister. Look, I\u2019m sorry. It wasn\u2019t a kindness to bring up the child.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

If I were the word-playing kind I\u2019d say that you never wanted to bring up the child at all.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh, but I\u2019ve missed that wit. That anger. Is that why you became a nun? To deal with your anger? Or run away from it?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is that why you became a Commander? To \u201cdeal\u201d with what you did? Yes, I was angry. And oh, yes, I \u201cdealt\u201d with it. That was certainly part of my journey. So tell me. What was your journey? You with no need for salvation. You with faith in reason alone, as though Leibniz was right and the world is nothing more than a mathematical pearl within the oyster.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

A world in which Isaac is actually sacrificed is a mad world indeed. Can you blame me for trying to find some way to bring order to it?<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is it such a leap from erasing a baby to erasing a dissident? I congratulate you on your personal growth and your love of justice.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I take no pleasure in your being angry with me.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course. You want absolution. You want me to help you.<\/p>\n

THE COMMANDER<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes.<\/p>\n

THE SISTER<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a priest. I can\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cEx Cathedra\u201d (An excerpt) Characters: THE COMMANDER:\u00a0 middle-aged. Female. THE SISTER: middle-aged. The near future. In a police state, a Commander of the security forces has invited a nun to her office for a conversation. THE COMMANDER reveals that she is a former lover from their university days and the conversation turns to their shared […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":362,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-868","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=868"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/868\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":870,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/868\/revisions\/870"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/362"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}