{"id":213,"date":"2011-05-19T10:14:35","date_gmt":"2011-05-19T10:14:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue9\/?page_id=213"},"modified":"2012-02-02T07:28:22","modified_gmt":"2012-02-02T07:28:22","slug":"caroline-szpak","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/writings\/poetry\/caroline-szpak","title":{"rendered":"Caroline Szpak"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/strong>Christmas<\/strong><\/h1>\n

A coin with a profile is one thing<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never been given. An abbreviation<\/p>\n

for how my lips don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t move is another<\/p>\n

that always left me empty-handed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I get out of bed with nothing<\/p>\n

but the longest explanation.<\/p>\n

Body the bareness of a busy signal<\/p>\n

everyone has the same words for.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Who knows what really happens<\/p>\n

to the throat when a coin keeps time<\/p>\n

tight as footsteps in house arrest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The morning is dedicated to undertow,<\/p>\n

and houseplants, and telephones that never give<\/p>\n

more words than you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll need<\/p>\n

to hear a voice shake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Blurry Bloodshots <\/strong><\/h1>\n

The root vegetable sits for a minute,<\/p>\n

thinner than shelf-life.<\/p>\n

What does that make me?<\/p>\n

Painted grey and dressed<\/p>\n

like a rock, stumbling<\/p>\n

upon a bush to sleep in.<\/p>\n

The park patrol dims<\/p>\n

like a grid. This has nothing<\/p>\n

to do with a misunderstanding.<\/p>\n

Hoof circuit. Horse of blues.<\/p>\n

Horse of the rising sun. Potatoes<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

are eighty percent water.<\/p>\n

I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hit on you<\/p>\n

with champagne, or Tetris.<\/p>\n

You can’t fix my outfit<\/p>\n

behind the stop sign.<\/p>\n

Headlamps peer<\/p>\n

into every dry, dark<\/p>\n

storage. The posts are lonely<\/p>\n

on their way up<\/p>\n

past our necklines.<\/p>\n

Relatedly, I don’t belong<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

in a turnpike. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m turning<\/p>\n

all these eggs over again.<\/p>\n

I mean, I’m eating<\/p>\n

all these whites again \u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

they’re anonymous as seat belts.<\/p>\n

The heat makes them dizzy,<\/p>\n

they lose their IDs.<\/p>\n

Some other things you knew<\/p>\n

about me already.<\/p>\n

That would be an unintentional way<\/p>\n

to spend the rest of your evening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Always Fucking Night Never Things <\/strong><\/h1>\n

Every other slap<\/p>\n

and sleeve<\/p>\n

stuck<\/p>\n

against a door.<\/p>\n

You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re flown.<\/p>\n

In Manhattan,<\/p>\n

he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a one-off, plump<\/p>\n

as an ice cube, always wet<\/p>\n

at the cuff. Here<\/p>\n

the main attraction<\/p>\n

a loose artery, sudden love<\/p>\n

letter to thunder. Nails turn<\/p>\n

pink without sun, trace profit,<\/p>\n

two fingers<\/p>\n

over your collarbone.<\/p>\n

Ponytails headlong<\/p>\n

water on the long sides<\/p>\n

of the bridge. If you’re lucky,<\/p>\n

potable seawater \u00e2\u20ac\u201d plain<\/p>\n

as farm dogs<\/p>\n

on the floor \u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

so full of hands.<\/p>\n

Find shade.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Their Nurse <\/strong><\/h1>\n

This won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help her, her house<\/p>\n

has a first aid kit too \u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/p>\n

no simple pleasure, its clasps<\/p>\n

hunched like waiting<\/p>\n

insect legs, or flint.<\/p>\n

Mostly she keeps expectations<\/p>\n

alive. Mostly they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re frightened<\/p>\n

as an empire and leave<\/p>\n

their keys in the car, lock<\/p>\n

injury away in a backseat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She has her test tubes<\/p>\n

because of the growths<\/p>\n

of our spines, the red<\/p>\n

colours of our buildings<\/p>\n

that don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t burn. Mostly<\/p>\n

she repeats after you,<\/p>\n

murderous as a hearing aid.<\/p>\n

Mostly they give reasons,<\/p>\n

wait up for another<\/p>\n

clustered duct she draws<\/p>\n

out time with.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She lives here, like chocolate<\/p>\n

on the corners of the mouth.<\/p>\n

Some nights, she sleeps here,<\/p>\n

picks and chooses, blinking<\/p>\n

blinking if it kills her. Mostly,<\/p>\n

she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in the details,<\/p>\n

facedown like blood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mostly they lie, nautical, facing<\/p>\n

the wind. Mostly, it comes from her,<\/p>\n

lying low as a slipmouth,<\/p>\n

she gives them something<\/p>\n

small enough for their hands<\/p>\n

to sweat into. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll see them<\/p>\n

when they get here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christmas A coin with a profile is one thing I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never been given. An abbreviation for how my lips don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t move is another that always left me empty-handed.   I get out of bed with nothing but the longest explanation. Body the bareness of a busy signal everyone has the same words for.   Who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":203,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"authorpoetry.php","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-213","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=213"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1003,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/213\/revisions\/1003"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mtls.ca\/issue11\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}